Phil’s Story: Part II

By 3rd October 2019 Blog No Comments

I’ll start this with a little recap of my last story, I explained about my formative years being uneasy and harmful to my mental health and how this followed suite in high school and this was where I started the trend of using alcohol to escape my problems.  Now I’m going to go into my adult life and give you the full picture of my mental mindset which led to me hitting my low and my eventual rebirth as such.  I’ve explained that most of my adult life I was homeless or in the social system, this is why.  Due to my alcohol use and mental health I wasn’t a very pleasant person to be around at times so needless to say I got kicked out of the family home quite young(16 or 17 if I remember correctly), luckily enough this time I gained accommodation at the local YMCA.  As you may imagine being a 16/17 year old young adult in a hostel setting baring in mind I had already started to go down the path of drink was an eye opener and led to other substances coming into play.  This continued throughout my late teens with the location changing (I briefly got my own flat) and a short period where I decided it was a good idea to join the army which didn’t stick but I did complete both my basic and specialised training.  Skipping forward a few years as not to bother you with repeating the same behaviours and numerous breakdowns of relationships(romantic and family) I eventually aged 24 decided to change my surroundings drastically, moving to Rhyl and ending up street homeless which wasn’t the first time id slept under the stars but given my new environment it was a whole lot scarier.  I quickly fell in with what at that time in my life a good crowd of also street homeless people who all strived to keep each other safe but at the same time in that period my drug taking and drinking sky rocketed.  Whilst in Wales I was the victim of a violent unprovoked attack which left me clinging on to life in an empty flat left for dead.  I spent about 4 days in hospital before getting turfed back out onto the streets.  I decided I needed to make a change, I got referred and moved into an abstinence based rehab unit soon after my release where I started to try and deal with my mental health, this did not go to plan as 4 months in I relapsed badly and was evicted to as you may now have guessed the streets.  After a few months of sofa surfing, staying in the night shelter and the inevitable numerous nights behind the sun centre I found a lifeline with a move back to stoke.  I spent 5 years in and out of hostels continuing my drinking (the drug use slowly subsided) and going from dead end job to dead end job.  Then 5 years ago I again decided I needed to change and get help.  This was not very forthcoming I spent the majority of that time on waiting lists for mental health help being passed from pillar to post because of my continued alcohol use and eventually being discharged from said services without the help I badly needed.  This led to me continuing my method of alcohol to solve all problems which then led me to as I said in my previous story going into hospital and finding out I had acute pancreatitis.  With the help of the organisations previously mentioned I was able to turn things around(so far) but I firmly believe it should never have gotten that far.  In my opinion the mental health help out there need to look at themselves and #seethefullpicture, I could have been helped if they understood my drinking was a part of me at that time and treated me accordingly.  I hope in the future these changes are made and are not an issue for anybody I hope to help – we shall see.